A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water.
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.
Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.
I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
Gerald Ford (is) the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur.
It's not hard to find Gerald Ford on a golf course - just follow the wounded.
You don't know what fear is until you hear Ford behind you shouting 'Fore!' - and you're still in the locker room.
Shortly after I started playing golf with Jerry Ford I thought it was time to take some lessons. Not golf lessons. First aid.
Whenever I play with (President) Ford these days I carry thriteen clubs and a white flag.
When Agnew yellowed "Fore!" you never knew whether he was telling someone to get out of the way or if he was predicting how many spectators he would hit with the shot.
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
If (President) Eisenhower slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.